Carol Jean (VonderEmbse) Verhoff

Carol Jean Verhoff

 KALIDA - Carol Jean VonderEmbse Verhoff, 81, of Ottawa, passed away at 6:03 a.m. on June 28, 2022, at her residence.  She was born February 8, 1941, in Kalida, Ohio to Virginia Jean (Dunlap) and Richard VonderEmbse and raised by her grandparents, Gus and Nora Kramer, on their farm after her mother died when she was two years old. Carol Jean was born full of curiosity and wonder, and over the years, she recounted many fond memories from her childhood. Life on the farm was hard work, but Mom loved it. Grandpa Kramer always said that she was the best farm boy he ever had. When she was five years old, Grandpa taught her how to drive the old 1020 tractor so that she could help him make hay. Too small to turn the tractor around by herself, at the end of each row, Grandpa would climb up on the tractor, turn it around, and hop off to continue to load hay until the end of the next row. Other heartwarming memories included Grandpa’s loyal dog Shep, who saved Grandpa from the bull, who then met his demise as hamburger; Grandma’s homemade bread, which Bert & Bernie Altstaetter bought to serve in their restaurant; the unheated upstairs in the old farmhouse and its cold wooden floors; the three-seater outhouse, with one kid-sized hole. All the links to a life that we never knew yet could imagine through her stories. An only child, she adored her many uncles, aunts, and cousins who visited, and they adored her.

  She attended Kalida schools, married Jack Mead, and had four children before divorcing in 1970 when her youngest was four years old.

  Carol Jean’s children were her life. Despite the day-to-day challenges of raising four children alone, she set high standards. She was a voracious reader. Her love of learning spilled over to us, and she pushed us to stay curious, and read to us every night when we were kids. Visits to the Putnam County Library Book Mobile were a summer highlight, and we brought home armfuls of books to take us on adventures through our imaginations.

Though Mom lived in Kalida her entire life, she made sure her kids had wings and encouraged us to explore and find adventure, and not settle. She instilled belonging and love in each of us, and we always knew how to find our way back home to her. The arrival of grandkids brought a new joy into her life and Mom brought the same commitment to their learning and growth that she brought to her children. Carol Jean was a badass mom. She raised her children alone, while working multiple jobs, with few family supports. She fearlessly overcame a multitude of challenges, setting an example of courage and bravery for her family that continues to fuel our success in life today. Mom’s home was always open to our friends, and for many, she was a second mom. It was her love of farming that fueled her success in the many roles she held at Kahle Feed Mill. Her intelligence and experience were recognized and appreciated by many farmers who often relied on it to make important decisions about buying and selling grain, saying, “Ask Carol. She will know.” To this day, we are often approached by community members who express their gratitude for what Mom taught them about farming and the markets.

After her retirement, she continued to share her knowledge in her role as Secretary of the Putnam County Fair Board and always stayed in tune with the markets by checking the price of grain when she and Vinnie were out and about.

Mom’s years working at Bert & Bernie’s Black Angus resulted in many lifelong friendships, including bonds with special women in her life. Together, they supported each other through thick and thin, loss and love, disappointment, and joy. Her girlfriends helped her keep her sanity and over the years, there were Thelma and Louise road trips, shenanigans around the round table at Bert’s, the Coffee Klatch Ladies at Big Daddy’s, and more.

  Carol Jean was a proud, independent, intelligent woman. She was well known and loved by so many in this community. As her children, our love affair with her began on the day that each of us was born. We know that there are many others who jumped on that bandwagon as soon as they experienced her humor, her friendliness, and her nonjudgmental acceptance, including her husband, Vincent Verhoff. They married in 1992, and together, explored the United States, spending significant amounts of time in Alaska, Arizona, Oklahoma, Missouri, and Colorado.

  Mom retired from Kahle Feed Mill in 1997. Our hearts were broken when her well-deserved retirement was cut short on December 3, 2003, when she suffered from a ruptured brain aneurysm. Many said she would never survive. After 10 months of hospital and rehab, intensive therapies, and extremely hard work, she came home. The brain hemorrhage left her with physical deficits and short-term memory loss. It’s hard to believe that she navigated these hardships for 18-plus years. For the many who loved her, this was yet another testimonial to her badassery, and her grace. Despite her disabilities and brain injury, she never stopped being Mom and caring wife, with “Did you get enough to eat? Do you need anything? Be careful. Call when you get home.”

  We know that Mom regularly offered appreciation and kindness to those around her, even on her worst days. The family would like to reiterate that deep gratitude to her loving neighbors and care providers over the last 18.5 years. There is no doubt that her quality of life has been enhanced by your love and appreciation for who she was as a person.

  She was a member of St. Michael’s Catholic Church, Kalida.  Carol Jean was a lover of peanut butter ice cream and westerns with John Wayne, Clint Eastwood, Jimmy Stewart and Clark Gable.  She also loved Christmas and having all of her kids home.

  Carol Jean is survived by her husband, Vincent Verhoff of Kalida; her daughter, Kim Mead and granddaughter Chloe Jean Edmondson of Nixa, MO; her son, Jay Mead (Kimmie) and grandchildren Kaycee and Kobe of Bunker, MO; daughter, Robin Mead and granddaughter Jodi Bollenbacher (Jamie) and great-grandchildren, Jackson and Julia of Findlay, OH; and daughter Tracy Mead (Jon Estabrook) of Fort Collins, CO.

  In lieu of flowers, the family suggests that you consider honoring Carol in the following ways:  Donate to the Carol Jean Legacy Scholarship Fund. Mom was a firm believer in the power of education and this fund is being established to create an annual scholarship for a single parent at Project Self-Sufficiency www.bringthepower.org) , 501c3 organization whose mission is to work with single parents in getting post-secondary education and career-related employment. You can donate here: https://connect.clickandpledge.com/w/Form/caa29446-93f2-4bec-991a-8dded0dda148?636511800836647366; Make a donation in her name to Challenged Champions Riding Center (https://www.challengedchampions.com/); Make a donation in her name to Putnam County Homecare & Hospice in support of all they do for families caring for loved ones in the final stages of their lives.

 There are many who will miss her as much as we do, who have been on the receiving side of her grace, her kindness, and her love. As we celebrate and honor this incredible woman, our mother, wife, grandmother, and friend, we invite you to join us in raising a glass of Black Velvet and Coke and belting out your favorite Neil Diamond song.

  Funeral Mass will begin at 10:00 a.m. on Friday, July 15, 2022, at St. Michael’s Catholic Church, Kalida with Father Scott Kramer officiating.  Burial will follow in the church cemetery.  A visitation will be held on Thursday from 2 to 8 p.m. at LOVE-HEITMEYER FUNERAL HOME, Jackson Township, and again on Friday morning from 9 a.m. until the time of Mass at the church.

  Condolences may be expressed at www.lovefuneralhome.com